Psychologist online dating

20-Sep-2014 04:48 by 2 Comments

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Understanding the science of attraction can’t guarantee you a date tonight, but it can point the way towards forming mutually benefiting relationships with other people. Well, first, it turns out that one of the strongest predictors of whether any two people will form a relationship is sheer physical proximity.About a half of romantic relationships are formed between people who live relatively near each other and the greater the geographical distance between two people, the less likely they are to get together.

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While most 20th-century couplings were either formed in workplaces and colleges or through friends and families, online dating sites and dating apps are fast becoming the most common way of meeting partners and now account for about 20% of heterosexual couplings and more than two-thirds of same-sex couplings in the US.

But even online, geography continues to have an influence.

After all, the point of online dating is eventually to meet someone offline – and it costs more time and money to meet someone who lives further away.

Proximity matters because it increases the chances people will interact and come to feel part of the same “social unit”. People perceived to be physically attractive get asked out on dates more often and receive more messages on online dating sites.

They even have sex more often and, apparently, have more orgasms during sex.

But physical attractiveness matters most in the absence of social interaction.

Once social interaction takes place, other traits come into their own.

It turns out that both women and men value traits such as kindness, warmth, a good sense of humour, and understanding in a potential partner – in other words, we prefer people we perceive as nice.

Being nice can even make a person seem more physically attractive. Consuming alcohol, for example, really can make everyone else appear more physically attractive.

Some time ago, I found myself single again (shock, horror!

) and decided to get back into the world of dating.

One thing that struck me very early on in my forays was that everyone had an opinion about “what worked” in terms of dating.