How to spot players on dating sites

29-May-2015 19:41 by 3 Comments

How to spot players on dating sites

And the process of ferreting out the weirdos was oddly cathartic.Offline, women are socialized to Be Nice (or at least to be polite and respond to advances).

You’re entitled to select a date you are interested in and attracted to, which means you don’t have to respond to a guy’s advances just because he’s taken the time to advance upon you.

The sheer volume of potential mates helps turn the tables even further.

At a time when women are told that we’re getting too old and successful to find suitable partners, online dating offers us the buffet of options men have traditionally enjoyed.

Of course, buffet-style dating strikes a lot of people as overly consumerist: You’re evaluating potential mates not based on any real-life connection, but on a set of characteristics they list on a website and a curated set of self-shots.

It can be limiting in that regard, but the little things can be significant.

Around this time two years ago, I created an online dating profile. I wasn’t opposed to dating, but I had exhausted the friends of friends category. She advised me that online dating probably wasn’t the path to a relationship, but it would get me out of my dating rut.

I had a busy social life, a job I liked, smart friends, and a general aversion to committed relationships—and no incentive to clear the way for dudes. Then my friend Priscilla—an attractive, normal, and well-socialized young woman—signed up for Ok Cupid.“It’ll make you stop being such a judgmental bitch,” was how she put it.“You’ll have to be nice to people.” Online dating was, in my bitchy and judgmental estimation, for women who wanted to get married, stat, and were willing to settle for whatever turned up a few clicks away.On the other hand, real-life dating had so far led me to a former frat boy who got jealous when a homeless man talked to me, a gay guy who was looking for a woman to bear his children, and a 40-something singer in a Rick James cover band who once pooped his pants on . Besides, someone to ice skate alongside in Bryant Park sounded nice. 10 are sleeping, 5 are flying, 4 are playing and 1 is reading this,” one of the first messages read.So I logged onto Ok Cupid, uploaded some flattering photos, listed a bunch of pretentious favorite books and music, and waited. Within a day, I had received dozens of new communiques.Most days, I would scroll through them for a minute or two, then get quickly overwhelmed and click “close tab.” For every 20 or 30 messages I received, I responded to maybe one.