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“When that one spouse visits a lawyer, they place the entire family in the hands of a hostile court system.Children become wards of the state, and all marital assets are controlled by the courts.
“I get the feeling that there is this perverse patronizing that’s going on here,” she said.
“They’re actually pleased to rip my family apart because they think I’m this mistaken ancient restrictive weirdo because I’m a loyal Roman Catholic.”For a woman in her position, the feeling of betrayal is overwhelming.
“It’s like the Church has let us go into the hands of a monster that is tearing our family apart, and the Church won’t intervene,” she said. When I made my vows, I signed up for something different.”The divorce rate among Catholics is reputedly the same as that among the general public, where about 35 percent of people who have been married have also been divorced.
The couples I spoke with were very aware of the high Catholic divorce rate.
The abandoning spouse in each took comfort in the thought that he was just part of a crowd.
One man I spoke with, now divorced, took Scott Hahn’s Christian marriage class with his theology-major fiancée.
Another couple, now divorced, made the twin sacrifices of building a large family and allowing the wife to stay home — because, in the ex-husband’s words, “Simpleminded me, I looked at every sacrament as precious and worthy.” Two others, now divorced, helped at their parish and were sacrificing to send their kids to Catholic schools.The grave sin of divorce infects everybody around it.It wrecks families and convinces society that Catholic teaching about marriage just isn’t practical.So why are so many committed Catholic couples doing it?Or, as Alicia stated it: “I’m too good to be divorced.Therefore this was not a valid marriage.” “As soon as you even talk about divorce as if it’s an option, you’ve taken your first step,” Patricia, an abandoned mother of five, told me.